felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
