Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
