The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
