The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize