Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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