Your face is a jimmy john
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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