Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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