I don't think brook has ever known best
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
