operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
