Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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