Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
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