hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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