If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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