Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
