i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize