That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And then my night got REAL pukey
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
