Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
false alarm. still invincible.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
