the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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