Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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