the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
