my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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