I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize