He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize