I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
