I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
