Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
