woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
