Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
