so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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