I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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