dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
