Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
