Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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