u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
