Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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