Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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