I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
