I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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