Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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