I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
