I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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