she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
