So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Randomize
