u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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