Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
