i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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