I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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