when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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