Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
