Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
