I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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