her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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