we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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