he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
