he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
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You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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