Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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