i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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