we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
