I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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