And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Everclear isn't food dammit
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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