Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
