She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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