ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
