Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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