after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it's like iHOP with fire
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
