i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
